Dating and feelings
' Women find this a natural question because women tend to go quiet when they feel hurt or lied to.
If a man is quiet, a women may assume his silence indicates that he is upset.
The best way to relate to one another is for men to appreciate that a woman needs to off load sometimes and for a woman to know that a man may prefer to talk about practicalities rather than how he is feeling.
So a man, when he realises that his partner is upset or worried about something, can ask her if she would like to talk about it.
Firstly, men's brains are wired for action during high emotion, whereas women's brains are wired for talking things over.
In an emotionally-arousing situation, a man's first instinct is to leave and calm down. They are a cue to physical action - the consequences of which could be terrible.
But then he needs to resist the temptation to offer advice or tell her what to do! Conversely, a woman who notices something is up can think twice before asking that frightening question - 'How do you feel? A good alternative might perhaps be to say 'It might be a good idea if we do such-and-such about that - This makes it action orientated and therefore less threatening to her male partner.
Remember strong emotion physically harms a man and is a cue to action rather than discussion.
Even in infancy, premature boys are more likely to die than premature girls.
Rosemary was surprised and relieved to learn that there are sound reasons why her male partner may 'button up'.
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If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times.